Sometimes I wonder about my sanity in this foster care world. I mean, now I have a 2 year old, a one year old and a one week old...who signs up for that! It will be an interesting time, no doubt about it.
You may be wondering what time it was that I wondered about my sanity...well the time when you ask yourself, what am I doing and why am I doing it? Is this really part of your plan God, or am I some kind of pathetic foster mom. As I am getting up every 2-3 hours in the middle of the night is when these things occur to me and I think, wow, am I doing His plan or following my own agenda? Sometimes I wonder. From somewhere I feel Him tell me it is right...almost a whisper and I feel peace. I am able to get up in the morning and do what needs to be done. I feel a little tired, but I know that He can carry me through and I take ahold of that and don't let go. As for the why...that is simple, to be the lamp unto their feet as He has called me to do.
So here I sit at my desk wondering again what I was thinking. All I know is that God has a plan and if I keep driving on His road and listening to His directions of where to turn, stop and accelerate, then there is no dead end for me, only my final destination next to Him. Some days, that is all I have to hang on to.....
